Read the list below, and check off the patterns of behavior that match your tendencies. Add your own at the bottom. If they apply, include the emotions you experienced before, during and after this type of exchange. As a refresher, here’s our list of emotions:
When you are afraid, you might feel anxious, worried, angry, irritated, jumpy, ashamed or as if you’re walking on eggshells. You may become defensive, judgmental or controlling. You might find yourself criticizing or blaming others.
When you are angry, you might feel resentful, frustrated, bored, confused, uninterested, judged, distant or powerless. You might react by clamming-up or giving someone the silent treatment, or by showing defiance, assertiveness, regret or disappointment.
When you are sad, you may feel tired, low-energy, lonely, depressed, heavy or cloudy.
When you are shameful, you might feel worthless, unlovable, abandoned, embarrassed and needy. It can also show up as fear, anger and disappointment.
Envy and jealously are often tied to your level of happiness because of your comparison of yourself to others. Believing you are worse off than those around you can trigger hostility, shame and resentment.
Happiness encompasses joy, openness and love, and happens when you are feeling nurtured, validated, cared for, connected and fulfilled.
When you recall behaving in these ways, what do you feel in your body? If you can, name the place in your body where you feel it.