VIEW TARGET BEHAVIORS ADMIN VIEW
Target behavior: 123
Goal: 123
Target behavior: 123
Goal: 456
Target behavior: 456
Goal: 789
Target behavior: 123
Goal: 123
Target behavior: 123
Goal: 1234
Target behavior: 456
Goal: 789
Target behavior: 123
Goal: 456
Target behavior: 123
Goal: 1234
Target behavior: 123
Goal: 123
Target behavior: 123
Goal: 123
Target behavior: Don’t yell.
Goal: I will talk in a quieter voice.
Target behavior: New Target
Goal: New Goal
Target behavior: Target 3
Goal: Goal 3
Target behavior: Target 4
Goal: Goal 4
Target behavior: Agreeing to do things I don’t want to do.
Goal: Be clear about my boundaries before they are crossed.
Target behavior: I don’t have enough sex
Goal: Have more sex.
Target behavior: I want to work on being able to articulate and express my needs clearly. I want to work on having the confidence to state when things are bothering me and also have the confidence to state when things make me happy or I am pleased with something. In other words, I want to have the confidence to express myself and not be worried that I may be judged by someone for stating what is on my mind or for expressing what I am feeling.
Goal: To be able to state my needs from the beginning and have the confidence to do so
Target behavior: I want to work on taking more control of the dating experience and not being afraid to say “this is what I want to do on our first date” versus feeling that I have no control or say. In other words, I want to be able to have the confidence and learn how to be more assertive with dating.
Goal: To be able to take more control and articulate what I would like to do on the first 3 dates
Target behavior: I have problems speaking up and asking for what I want. I tend to bury my need and then regret it later.
Goal: I use my words to ask for what I want so that my partner knows and I feel more authentic and honest.
Target behavior: testing out adding a new goal
Goal: I’ll feel better if I can add a goal to my profile
Target behavior: Not judging by looks
Goal: Being more open to different men
Target behavior: To get him to like me more and keep him interested, I would sleep with him too soon and/or start giving too much of myself. I expected our relationship to be exclusive and serious, without actually having that conversation.
Goal: Allow the relationship to develop slowly; work on receiving as well as giving; agree to exclusivity and monogamy prior to having sex and accepting them at their word if they are not open to committed relationships.
Target behavior: self-love
Goal: achieve a sense of deserving a loving relationship
Target behavior: self-isolation
Goal: overcome fear of exposing myself to criticism
Target behavior: isolating myself to avoid rejection
Goal: put myself in places where I am more likely to meet new people
Target behavior: I become intimate with men too early without fully exploring whether they are a good fit. I think I’ve equated sex to emotional intimacy
Goal: I need to control my need for physical intimacy and explore emotional intimacy first.
Target behavior: I suppress my negative emotions (anger, fear) because I’m afraid I will get a negative response to my needs
Goal: I want to know how to and be able to express my negative emotions in a healthy way.
Target behavior: I’m too quick to judge a man’s character and quickly dismiss them as a potential mate. This is likely to protect myself from being hurt
Goal: Be more open to the variances of behavior, not expect perfection, explore different personality types.
Target behavior: I ignore dating until someone ‘falls in my lap’ and then I get overly involved and overly excited. I go from zero to 100 in a matter of days or hours and then slam into depression when the whole thing falls apart.
Goal: I want to try to see if I can follow a saner path and keep my head in the process. I need to be willing to try the ‘beginning stuff’ and not try to skip immediately to the closeness I clearly crave.
Target behavior: I convince myself that I’m somehow not ‘eligible’ for dating.
Goal: I’m not that different from everyone else. I need to get past this self-imposed barrier and at least try it out.
Target behavior: I’m terrified of trying because failing hurts me so much.
Goal: I am willing to try and remember that even if there are hurts along the way, they won’t be so devastating if I don’t jump all the way in so freaking fast.
Target behavior: I assume that no one will be interested in me because of my body.
Goal: I need to at least give them a chance, apparently.
Target behavior: Expressing anger in a relationship in a productive way
Goal: My anger is heard and accepted
Target behavior: I tolerate disrespect and let men use me.
Goal: I will not be involved in a relationship which does not have mutual respect and adoration.
Target behavior: I do not express my feelings, wants and desires for fear of conflict and shame.
Goal: I will speak up for myself and let others know who I am.
Target behavior: test
Goal: test
Target behavior: test2
Goal: test2
Target behavior: 3. I doubt that I can have a healthy and loving relationship. I believe men, and in particular the “right” men, are not attracted to me.
Goal: Believing that I am lovable and deserving of a healthy and loving relationship. Knowing that there is a quality man for me in which there is mutual attraction.
Target behavior: I give my self away too quickly. I do what he wants to do and have a hard time coming up with ideas of what to do.
Goal: Slow down and get creative. Put in what I want to do and not be worried about rejections
Target behavior: I jump in quickly before I even know a person. I make them everything and want to spend a lot of time together
Goal: Slow down, get to someone in smaller increments and not obsess over the relationship
Target behavior: Jumping in too quickly, giving myself away too soon.
Goal: Slow things down. Make boundaries and hold them.
Target behavior: I have a tendency to impulsively say what ever comes into my mind after hearing what someone says.
Goal: I want to pause and think about how to best respond to a statement someone makes especially if it carries an emotional charge.
Target behavior: I tend to go along with the program to minimize conflict for example say yes to something I don’t want to do just to maintain the relationship
Goal: I want to have a balance of doing things someone else want to do and doing things I want to do — so I know it is important to compromise but not all the time.
Target behavior: I tend to let others discount my emotions making me feel not heard.
Goal: I need to recognize when this happens. Then I need to figure out a way to tactfully restate my emotion or how I am feeling about a situation so that I am heard
Target behavior: I tend to think whatever is bothering me isn’t that important. So I don’t bring it up.
Goal: I need to accept that if it is bothering me I need to look at it to see if it should be brought up.
Target behavior: I act impulsively and make up stories without all the facts. In other words, he is late therefore he does not care and I get angry.
Goal: I need to look at facts and not make up stories that add to my distress sending me down a rabbit hole. I need to restrain this need to act impulsively without knowing the actual situation.
Target behavior: I need to stop making assumptions.
Goal: If someone says something I don’t understand or does something that seems contradictory or confusing I will ask for clarification staying congruent with the facts and then accepting the explanation. Example is for example, if someone says they will call and then they don’t call for a while if they call I will say something like gee I am surprised to hear from you it has been a long time, Is this how you usually follow up — of course that sounds a little judgmental. I might say, instead when you said you wanted to get together again I thought I would hear from you sooner. When I didn’t hear from you I thought it meant you were not really interested or I was one of 25 women in your rotation. I am curious about that.
Target behavior: #2 Expressing wants and needs
Goal: Better communication
Target behavior: be more clear up front about what i’m looking for in relationship
Goal: talk to dates within the first 4-5 dates to ensure we’re aligned, start asking hard questions
Target behavior: move slowly to get to know the person well
Goal: no whirlwind romances! take my time and be thoughtful about what i learn + feel
Target behavior: directness & honesty
Goal: be authentically myself in my interactions – no games, be direct and honest about what i want and don’t want
Target behavior: no excuses & don’t waste time!
Goal: don’t make excuses for guys that don’t meet my standards; if i see too many red flags get out quickly
Target behavior: Not becoming intimate too quickly
Goal: At least 8 dates for sex? I might be ok with sex sooner if its just about that, but for an actual relationship I want to make sure it is actually going in that direction and that we are actually a good fit and it isn’t just about the physical stuff.
Target behavior: Communication
Goal: Talk about what I expect, ie. no ghosting, etc.
Target behavior: Listening to Intuition
Goal: Figuring out listening to my intuition
Target behavior: Being Afraid I won’t leave if I should
Goal: Not being afraid to continue to get involved, knowing that I might need to exit/break up
Target behavior: #1
Goal: I allow the relationship to develop slowly, which allows me to really know my partner and whether we want the same things in life. I discuss my expectations before we get physically intimate.
THE SEVEN STEPS TO LOVE