We’ve all been there: You meet a new man, and he’s handsome and charming and says all the right things. In your giddiness, you overlook that he’s late for every date, blames his ex for the breakup, and always insists on choosing what you do on dates.
Having no plan “is like leaping off a precipice and trying to knit yourself a parachute on the way down.”
— Kelli Jae Baeli, Armchair Detective
You’ve forgotten all about what you want and need in a long-term relationship. That’s why you need what I call a “love relationship plan.” It helps you visualize your future love relationship. That way, you’ll be able to stay present and recognize the positive feelings you get when you meet the right types of men. And you won’t waste your time—or his.
Knowing if someone matches up will take some time, probably between ten and twenty dates. Having a clear plan offers many benefits:
- It keeps you focused on what you want to attract into your life. You will be less tempted by men who seem great on the outside but lack the deeper qualities you need.
- It helps you communicate your important boundaries. It gives you confidence and clarity that you cannot accept anything less.
- It helps you communicate with others about what you’re looking for in your lasting relationship.
- It’s a contract you make with yourself.
You’re older and wiser than you were in your 20s and 30s. And you are clear about what has not worked in past romantic relationships. So start with what didn’t work, and write a plan that will.