You Can’t Manifest Love—It Requires Action

by Jen Girard

For our second year anniversary, I gave my partner Geoff a framed Holstee Manifesto.  What I like about it is that it encourages you to take action to change your life. If you want to be in a long-lasting and loving relationship, you often start out by thinking about it and imagining it in your mind. Many dating advice people and programs talk about this thinking as “manifesting love.” While this could be a good place to start, trust me, it’s not enough. 

Call me practical or a realist, but manifesting your ideal partner into existence feels way too magical to me and seems like you’re leaving a lot up to luck and chance. We often end up waiting, and waiting, and waiting for Mr. Right to materialize.

Let me tell you the story of how Geoff and I first connected. I winked at him on Had I not winked, but waited for Geoff to manifest himself to me I would still be waiting. Why? Because I never showed up as a possible match for him. The algorithm on apparently wasn’t working correctly. After Geoff and I started dating, I asked him why he didn’t wink at me first. He went back in Match to search for me using my height, location and other statistics, but I never showed up. Had I not taken action and winked at him, we may have never connected.

I agree that it’s important to visualize your ideal partner and imagine what it’s like to be with him. I really do believe that parts of the law of attraction work— especially the part about focusing on the positive versus wallowing in the negative. If we get too spun up over what’s not working and what we don’t like, then we run the risk of attracting even more negative stuff into our lives. If you think and feel positive about yourself and your life (also known as “loving yourself), then you are really 90 percent of the way there. The other 10 percent amounts to meeting a man, screening him and taking time to make sure he is the right one for you. I’m not saying that this 10 percent is easy, but it can be fun and entertaining, plus you’re guaranteed to learn more about yourself through the process.

Life is challenging and it doesn’t always go as we planned. It throws us curve balls. We have to go through trial and error, and yes, we have to even kiss a few frogs before we find our ideal partner. (Bet you thought I was going to say “prince!”)

Waiting for your ideal partner to sweep you off your feet actually gives all your power away to fate and to the man himself. What if he doesn’t get the telepathic memo that he’s supposed to find you? You have to agree, it really sounds a bit crazy, doesn’t it? Plus if he does find you, how will you know he’s the one?

You get the idea—if you want to find love, start doing something about it. Educate yourself by reading books and articles about dating, join a dating site, talk to your friends, or try my DateWise program. There are many ways you can jump-start your journey. Once you start dating, the only way you’ll know he’s the one is by asking him a lot of questions, setting your dating boundaries and telling him what you want in life and what doesn’t work for you. You can’t imagine he’ll just know this stuff telepathically or energetically. You have to take action by using your words. If you enroll in the DateWise program, you’ll get plenty of opportunities to practice using your words.

So are you ready to take action and follow your heart?

Only you hold the power to make it happen.

Check out more about the manifesto: .

Ready to start your journey to love?