Remember times when you felt stuck in the way something was and you couldn’t imagine how to change? And then suddenly, someone or something helped you see it a new way. This clarity slapped you in the face … in a wow, eyes –wide -open kind of way!Read More
I’d been active on Match.com for several months. Like most single women, I’d been letting the man make the first move toward me by email or a wink. Then it occurred to me that maybe my luck would change if I made the first move. Well, my luck did change in a big way! Read More
My gut reaction is to answer adamantly “No Way!” But then, there’s always that one-in-a-million chance of meeting someone on Tinder that could lead to a long-lasting relationship—although I’m not a betting kind of gal with those kind of odds. Read More
For our second year anniversary, I gave my partner Geoff a framed Holstee Manifesto. What I like about it is that it encourages you to take action to change your life. If you want to be in a long-lasting and loving relationship, you often start out by thinking about it and imagining it in your mind. Many dating advice people and programs talk about this thinking as “manifesting love.” While this could be a good place to start, trust me, it’s not enough. Read More
I’d just turned forty, was single and dating a lot. But none of the men I was meeting seemed to be turning into long-term relationship material. What did they all have in common? They were all unavailable. Today, it’s crystal clear to me why this was happening, but at the time I was so incredibly frustrated and exhausted from riding this dating roller-coaster.
Once you begin dating, assess whether or not the men you’re seeing are emotionally self-aware and available. You cannot force someone to open up to you, but you can be smart about being aware of signs of this and choose whom you become involved with. Read More
Now the hard work begins. The first step in overcoming fear of intimacy is to determine where you are on the spectrum. If your fear of intimacy feels extreme, you should seek professional help. It is difficult work, but it will be essential to your ability to develop and maintain a healthy long-term love relationship. Read More
A fear of intimacy is one of the most difficult obstacles to dating and finding a long-lasting relationship. It is not easy to detect, there are typical signs to look for and determine if this fear could be the contributing factor to why you’ve been unable to find love. Read More
For better or for worse … in sickness and in health.
Studies show again and again that relationships are critical to our long-term mental and physical health. This WebMD article Does a Better Relationship Mean Better Health? discusses that when we are in a relationship with another person, our behaviors are less risky, we tend to stay more socially connected with others and we feel more supported. Basically, we tend to take “better care of ourselves when we have someone who is invested in our happiness.” Read More
I’ve heard from many people about a recent article in the New York Times, “To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This” by Mandy Len Catron. She looks at how psychologist Arthur Aron made two strangers fall in love in his laboratory more than 20 years ago by sitting face to face and answering “a series of increasingly personal questions, then they stare silently into each other’s eyes for four minutes.” Here is a link to the 36 questions and a sample: Read More
You’ve gone out on a few dates and he said he’d get back to you yesterday about details on the next date. Yet when you heard from him today he said something like this: “Hey, sorry about yesterday and not getting back to you, but I ended up having to work late. How about you? How was your night?” Read More
Most people need help and guidance when they’re trying something new, whether it’s finding yourself single at 40+ or changing your dating patterns. Whatever the case, we all could use a little help with finding love. But do we really need to hire a dating coach? The short answer is no: You don’t need coaching to be successful with dating and finding love. Read More
You wake up grumpy in the morning and can’t talk without your coffee, yet he understands and loves the grumpy you. Even though you get anxious and fret about your family get-togethers, he is there to support you and run interference because he knows your family is a little crazy. Now that’s long-lasting love. Read More
You know this story: You meet a man and you’re instantly attracted to him in a “Oh, my goodness! I feel electricity bouncing all over me” way. You think, “Wow! It seems like we’ve known each other in another life. It feels so familiar with him.” The reality is you have met him before! Read More