The many benefits of dating when you’re older (and wiser)

by Jen Girard

Older and Wiser
As the saying goes … with age comes wisdom! In my opinion, there are many benefits of finding yourself single at 40 or 55 or older.  Dating when you’re older is a huge asset and here are a few benefits for starters: 

Benefit #1

As you age, you grow to know yourself better. You learn to accept yourself as you are, including what you are good at and what you maybe need to keep working on.

This can be a big advantage when it comes to dating, mainly because you’ve had experiences with relationships and you’re pretty clear about what hasn’t and doesn’t work for you. Now that you’re older and dating, or considering dating, you can leverage what hasn’t worked and avoid repeating past mistakes. By getting crystal clear about the types of men and behaviors that don’t work for you, you can more wisely choose the men you date.

Benefit #2

You can more easily admit when you don’t know something. You are more open to learning about what might work even better. I’ve read that as women age they actually tend to want to change and explore life more. I know this is how I felt when I turned 40, was single and wondering what to do next. I started meeting with a therapist and I read as much as I could about my situation and choices in life. I really felt like I woke up and knew I wanted a life that was different than what I had before. I wanted a long-term relationship, but not just any relationship—one that fulfilled and supported me, with a partner that accepted me as perfectly imperfect as I was. It was a journey, with lots of trial and error, but it worked as you know! I did find love by learning about dating a better way.

Benefit #3

Your life gets more complicated as you age. You have a career, stuff, maybe children and/or pets, or aging parents you have to look out for. You have responsibilities and priorities. This is a big advantage in dating, because you have limited time and more at stake. It helps you make smarter decisions. You’re not going to date just any man. You’re going to set your priorities and standards and make sure he meets or exceeds them. A more complicated life actually helps you keep your priorities straight so you choose your partner more carefully.

Getting clear about what hasn’t worked for you is an essential part of step three in the Seven Steps to Love program. You turn what hasn’t worked for you, which I call your “deal breakers,” into what does work for you, which I call “your love-relationship plan.” This plan guides you and keeps you focused on what you need in your future mate.

Go forth and choose wisely!




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